Monday, August 11, 2008

To die...

"To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure..."

I quote Dumbledore from Harry Potter because thats the first thing that comes to my mind when 'Death' comes up(It was the central theme of the whole series...) Yeah, a morbid topic, but you'll find out why I'm writing about it. Being the detached-from-reality and fantasy-loving girl that I am, I always thought I'd die a dramatic death...you know, with my life flashing before my eyes, remembering the people I loved- family, friends and the sort. Yeah yeah, call me weird for thinking about such things but even you must've contemplated your death at least once...

Anyway, getting back on the topic, I'm suffering from a miserable cold. That isn't much of a big deal since I'm sick every alternate month. So, I'm kinda used to it and don't bother about it. It was the usual sunday...getting up late, reading a book, staying online for an obscene amount of time...you get the drift. And just as usual, I went to sleep at around 1am. Now, the worst part when you suffer from a cold is sleeping. The moment you lie down, your nasal passages get blocked and you can scarcely breathe. Generally, after a while, at least one the nostril clears up and normal respiration resumes(at least thats the case with me...) But this night, nothing happened! An hour might've passed but I was still tossing and turning from one side to the other, breathing through my mouth. I was shivering, my head throbbed, blood pounded in my ears and my teeth hurt(Symptoms- I presume) I got up and stumbled towards my parent's room(half blind cause I didn't have my glasses on) With every passing moment, I was finding it harder to breathe. Mum and Dad bolted upright when I gasped for help. I couldn't speak any further. It was as if my insides were completely blocked. I took in deep gulps of air only to start coughing and choking. I wanted air...I wanted life...I felt so desperate, so helpless...so weak.
I'm dying.
My brain shoved out everything except the understanding that I was going to die. It only caused me to panic and retch all the more. Dad was shouting instructions to me but I couldn't comprehend...couldn't speak...couldn't breathe...couldn't live.
I dont exactly remember what happened next, but I guess I managed to get a hold of myself and calm down. I was shivering uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face, My breathing was ragged, but at least I was breathing!
As I write this down, it sounds really silly. But the fear that I had felt during that moment left me paralyzed...unable to do anything. Nothing mattered at that moment, not any person, not any thing. You don't even remember your achievements and success and other such bullshit. Its just plain, cold fear that wraps its arms around you.

I wonder if anything can be learned from this. Enjoy the moment, cause you can drop dead any second? In the end, material gains are not gonna matter anyway? No? Ah well...forgive me for the pointless post then, but I just had to write it down...

A word of advice though- Keep calm if you're dying and everything should be fine!
So, dying of a choked nose...definitely dramatic, but no thanks...I'll pass!

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Bartimaeus Trilogy

Okay, I've just finished reading the Bartimaeus trilogy(well 9:30 last night actually...) and I must say,it's an awesome book! The Amulet of Samarkand, The Golem's eye and Ptolemy's gate being the three parts of the book.
This fantasy series written by Jonathan Stroud revolves around Nathaniel, a young magician, as he foils the plans to overthrow the British government. The British government also consists of magicians, corrupt, power-hungry, and conceited(in short 'evil') magicians. The magicians usually summon demons like marids, afrits, djinns, imps and foliots to do their bidding. Commoners are the people with no magical powers, although there are some people who cant withstand magical attacks as well as see magical objects and demons. A group of such commoners called as the 'Resistance' also attempt to overthrow the government but are largely unsuccessful. Each of the three books contains a plot to overthrow the Prime Minister, and in every book, the plan is stopped by Nathaniel(or John Mandrake, being his official name) with the help of his djinni Bartimaeus. So lets get on with the characters...

Nathaniel aka John Mandrake - The main character of the trilogy, Nathaniel is intelligent, sharp, stubborn, determined, and not to mention extremely powerful at magic!Given up by his true family to become the apprentice of a magician Mr.Underwood, he appears to be a shy, quiet boy with a thirst for knowledge and for revenge. It is this want for revenge that gets him into trouble. But his steely determination gets him out of it too, as he thwarts Simon Lovelace(a narcissistic man, planning to kill the Prime Minister and coming into power himself). And thus Nathaniel rises in the government, and in the process forgets the boy called Nathaniel and becomes just as power-hungry and err...cold as the other ministers. Ah well, by the end of the third book, he gets back to his senses, remembers who he was, and saves everyone yet again! Hurray!

Bartimaeus - "I am Bartimaeus! I am Sakhr al-Jinni, N'gorso the Mighty and the Serpent of Silver Plumes! I have rebuilt the walls of Uruk, Karnak and Prague. I have spoken with Solomon. I have run with the buffalo fathers of the plains. I have watched over Old Zimbabwe till the stones fell and the jackals fed on its people. I am Bartimaeus!" - Bartimaeus
One of the best characters I've read, Bart is a 5000 year old djinni, in service of dear old Nathaniel. Bart is a witty, sarcastic character and hence is extremely likeable. You just can't stop grinning when you read his parts. He's quite unlike the other djinnis, actually caring for his master(well, he doesn't let it show anyway) and for the commoner Kitty Jones(a member of the Resistance) This is because he was treated as an equal by Ptolemy(one of his earlier masters who actually followed Bart to his world- The Other World). And well, he is supposed to be really strong, although there is a strong possibility of him lying about it...

Kitty Jones- A commoner, and a member of the Resistance, she can withstand magical attacks. Although she despised magic, she learnt it so that she could summon Bartimaeus and talk to him about Ptolemy(whom she suspected Bartimaeus had a strong bond with for he usually took the appeareance of Ptolemy). She hoped that perhaps demons and humans could join forces againts magicians, but was turned down by Bartimaeus because he felt that demons and humans could never trust each other, at which Kitty dissmisses him. She's a strong and independent girl, standing up for herself...

Ok now begin the spoilers! Read if you've already read the book...
At first, I thought that the story was quite childish, but as it progressed, I realize how wrong I was. The trilogy is worth reading just for third book. It'll send you on a roller coaster ride of emotions, of feeling strongly for the characters. At the first book, I felt sad for Nathaniel, underestimated, ignored, humiliated but into the second book I started despising him...cause he had become someone else. Nathaniel was lost somewhere, his place taken up by John Mandrake. He treats Bartimaeus in a contemptuous way, not even bothering to dismiss the djinn although he's on the verge of dying. Made me wanna slap him hard. But by end of the third book, Nathaniel reappears, realizing that he had become what he despised when he was young, leading the book to an unexpected end. Yup, its an end no writer in his right mind would go for...but Jonathan Stroud did. Nathaniel dies in the end, telling Bartimaeus that he had been a good servant and then dismissing him so that he would not die with him(a sort of deja vu for Bartimaeus, Ptolemy had done the same). That actually got me to cry...
And Bartimaeus, we feel he's just a downright rude djinni, with no feelings and stuff. Wrong again, although he know's John Mandrake's birth name(Nathaniel) he refrains from telling it to someone else. Plus, he asked the demon Nouda to spare Kitty and Nathaniel's lives. And his relation with Ptolemy, a touchy subject as seen when it was broached by Kitty gives us an insight as to why he might've done that. It seems that he also hoped for humans and demons to work together and works together with Nathaniel(using Nathaniel's body) to destroy Nouda.
Kitty Jones, member of the Resistance, tried to understand the slave-master thing between demons and humans. She takes an interest in this topic after a conversation with Bart, and thereafter learns magic just so she could summon him and talk to him. She's so smart, deducing about Ptolemy in that way...although I wish she had stepped out of the circle when asked by Bart to prove that she trusted him. Anyway, she also goes to the Other World in search of Bartimaeus just so to prove that she trusted him and it is on her insistence that Bart agrees to take up Nathaniel's body as his vessel and work together with him...

Spoilers end here.
Well, this is a really haphhazard way to describe a book, wiki might be able to help you out if you're interested in Bartimaeus trilogy, or well you can go to the official site as well.

Thats it for now folks!
Cheers!


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A bit about me

Ok, so let's see...before I go on describing myself, I'll use some of the words used for me by others- Creative, imaginative, weird, arrogant, stuck-up, downright rude, funny, friendly, fun loving, affable, energetic, stubborn, confident, helpful, moody, short-tempered. Guess that should be enough *notices that there are more positive adjectves than negative ones, chooses to ignore blissfully*

Ah, jokes apart, first thing that I'd like to make it clear, my URL- 'blueray', thats my penname at ffnet(I'll be posting about fanfics here) And when I chose that name, I had no idea what blu-ray was. So please, don't sue me or anything like that...

I'll be posting the most random things here, ranging from drabbles, poems, stories, my artwork, things I feel strongly about...you get the idea. It's nice to have a place to pour your thoughts out into. Then I'll talk about anime and manga(which I oh-so love! ^_^) music, movies...everything! Oh and comments are always greatly appreciated, its nice to know what people think about you...
This should be enough for now...but I'll be back with more full-fledged posts! Until then!